((((((( Court_Knee & Family ))))))))

I'm sorry for your loss dear one. It's hard to have those mixed emotions of having fun while a loved one passed. Maybe a way you can look at it is like this --

God needed your cousin, but he also needed you to have some positive and good times to remember too. So when you are feeling sad about loosing your cousin, you can also draw from the positive time you had with your friends and that can help you get through your sadness.

I'm also sorry you are feeling scared about your physical wellbeing. Your mom is right...you are being watched and taken care of so that you can be more healthy and live a long and good life.

I'll bet that mom cleaned your room because she needed to let off some steam after the news of your cousins passing....and to help you to feel better too. I'm glad she didn't yell at you when you came home. She loves you and is doing her best....thats a good thing

You and your family are in my prayers Court

sabby