i just have these things happen, like not getting what i feel i need (and a resaonable thing)... i know it bothers me, but that is all i know... i don't know if there are emotions there other than something nagging me that it in't quite right... or what emotions happen are not intelligible to me. i see a rorschach(sp?) blot. A blob.

after the call i got in response yesterday i am pretty defeated. i'm apparently not good enuff. Nothing i do is good enuff even when i gave my best. i was proud of myself and he just walked on it and moved on. now wouldn't he be shocked if i move on.

i am going to make an appt with aanother T for my usual monday tme as T is away.i'm going to explore the possibility of someone else who may be able to work with this need i feel i have

i am tired of T not being on the same side as me... i want a team to fight my issues... not spend my time heart broken because he makes me feel bad