I can sympathise with some of what you must be going through. I also struggle with depression, weight and would also like to find that one special person for a meaningful and loving relationship but, I just don't feel like I'm in a position where I can right now and even if I were I really wouldn't know where to begin. It's times like this that I'm greatful for my imaginative capacities and to a degree even my schizophrenia as it allows me to loose myself and submerge myself in deep thought where I can be both the author and even the protagonist if I so choose it. Is it unhealthy? If it is I do not care. It helps me when I'm down and that's all that matters to me. I'm not suggesting that you start trying to do this but, if you aren't in therapy and have a self esteem issue, you may want to focus on doing something about that with either self help books or with a therapist. Also fantasy itself is not a bad thing as long as you don't convince yourself that any of it is real. Fantasy can actually be very theraputic. You may want to go to your local library and check out some books on it. I hope that your situation improves.