Yes, I have just recently left a 30 year marriage because of emotional abuse. He never hit me, but slowly manipulated me and sucked away my life force. I was suicidal for several years because it all seemed so hopeless. I loved that man with everything I had until I had nothing g left to give. I was dead inside, emotionally numb. I wanted to die so desperately, just to escape from my life. I finally got therapy for my depression and over the past year came out of the FOG (fear, obligation & guilt). I am slowly recovering. I have no one to support me and feel so alone much of the time. But, I remind myself this is at least better than being abused. I have no understanding friends and my family lives far away. I'm determined to get through my recovery and try to remember that being alone makes me stronger in the long run, even if it is sometimes lonely.
I am angry about all the years I wasted loving that charming, handsome monster. I have finally cleansed myself of the love I felt for him. That is a very freeing experience-to emotionally detach from him.
I wish I could get in touch with other survivors near me, so we could support each other in person. Unless someone has been where we have been, they can't possibly understand or get it.
I wish you peace & happiness as you recover from the damage inflicted on you. You are not alone, there are thousands of us out there who know what you've endured. We are all survivors together.