Thanks... yes, but the feelings seemed more thought than felt, and they were more out of empathy for her than my own...

While i was there in the waiting room, i had not decided what to do yet. I was a bit pissed she was 5mins late and there was another woman there, waiting for the other T in their shared apartament. But when my T finally came out to get me, this other woman asked her to talk and my T let her in ignoring me completely. In that moment i decided to quit.

What drove me from the start was the certainty that she too had understood it was better for both if i quitted and she didnt feel like seeing me anymore. It was never expressed out loud, but thats what i got from her actions. Its easy to lie with words, but harder by actions.

I also wanted to show her and prove to myself she had not changed me. A part of me doesnt like it, as i hate myself, but a part of me is proud of being the same because it proves i am and was right about myself being a monster and about life being horrible.

And to say it all... a part of me thinks I'll miss her bad, but a part of me is sure it was pointless to go on and i dont need therapy anymore. I couldnt imagine going back another time, like you cant repair a broken egg...

Do you think i did wrong?