Thank you, you are right.

I am doing my best to be practical - like choosing a vehicle that would meet my needs instead of one I think would be cool to drive. I have done a lot of homework. My boyfriend is holding my hand through the process.

I just know though that no matter how much I do or don't spend it is going to trigger my family into blowing a gasket. It seems any decision I make they assume is rash and worry that it might be a sign of my being quite ill.

They have never given credit to those things that are important to me. They laugh and ridicule them. For instance hiking. They don't understand why I would prefer to hike a mountain when there is a paved path along the river bank here at home. Why would I possibly want to travel 8+ hours to camp in a tent? Why am I keeping a 20ft kayak in storage? Why would I want to rappel off a cliff? Why do I spend money on art supplies?

I am in position to do these things again - and that starts with regaining independence by owing a vehicle. They are important to me. I have mourned the loss of these things now for 8 years. But each of these things, granted they are risk taking, they assume are indicators of mania.