I’m female and very deliberately chose a male therapist. My mom was the abusive one growing up, and although my dad was passive and allowed it to happen, he very rarely inflicted the abuse. In general men have always been safer for me. I’m fine with women my age, but I find it very difficult to trust women who could be my mom’s age.

There’s a small part of me that wonders if finding a therapist to fit that mom role would ultimately lead to greater healing—but my male T is amazing and I’m pretty much never working with anyone else. The dynamic works well for me. My male therapist is gay, so there’s never been a concern with inappropriate behavior (this shouldn’t be an issue regardless of sexuality, but it was a nice coincidence to find a gay male therapist, as I’ve been close to gay men for almost two decades.)