Thanks for sharing this.
I'm an old man now.
But I've had a life-long struggle with gender identity disorder. It began so early in my life, before I even have any useful memories, that I have no idea where it came from or why.
But, anyway, in my own way, I found a number of things you mentioned in your post to be familiar. It would require a long reply for me to go into detail. So I'll spare you that.
But I just wanted to let you know I read your post & appreciated what you shared.