He told me a few months ago that something happened when he was a kid. He doesn't remember if it happened more than once but he has a very clear memory of at least one time. He's not even really sure how old he was when it happened. It happened with a teenage boy that his uncle was fostering parenting. He doesn't know why he allowed it to happen, he just wasn't sure why it was happening at the time. He understands, now that he's older, what took place there after sort of blocking the whole thing out for years. I'm the only person he has ever told and the only other person that knows that this happened.
I just listened when he told me these things, and described what took place (which I won't write about). I asked gentle questions and tried to be comforting. I just didn't understand how he was acting. He was so calm when he told me, which I think had to do with the very comfortable environment. He didn't really seem upset about it, and he looked awkward when I tried to comfort him about it. I'm not sure how I was supposed to react. I'm sad that this happened to him and angry that the boy got away with what he did (he was not an adult either! But he knew better, I'm sure). I love his family, they are really good people, and I know this would be a huge shock for them. I just don't understand why he didn't tell his mom. He must have felt guilty because he participated... but he didn't even understand what he was doing at the time, he was only a kid. Maybe it didn't even occur to him to tell? I don't know how he has dealt with this for so long. I'm really glad he trusts me.
The thing is, I don't know if I should try to get him to talk to a counsellor, or suggest that he pursue the matter with his family, or what. This is the only time I've ever brought it up with anyone, and I don't intend to again. I'm just worried about him, and I don't know what I should be doing at this point. I feel bad even saying this much here, out of respect for his privacy. But I don't know if I should just let it go unless he brings it up again, or encourage him to talk to a counselor or what. I'm sure he just doesn't want to stir up anything with his family, maybe he'd just rather let sleeping dogs lie.
I am at a loss. Can anyone give me some advice? What can I do right now to help him? Should I just wait and see if he talks about it again? I try to think, what would I want my best friend to do in this situation... but I've dealt with my own stuff differently so I can't know what he needs right now. Any suggestions?