Dear T,

Sometimes I find myself thinking these things that are so bafflingly unlike me, I feel you must have had a hand in them.

Today's thought? - It had never really occurred to me that I could grieve non self-destructively.

I am terribly sad, and I've cried, and it's painful. Incredibly painful. But that's all it is: emotional pain. It doesn't mean my life is ****ed, or that I have to **** up my life, or that I have to get ****ed-up.

Imagine that.

I wonder if it would strike you as sad that this should be a revelation.

-Argo