I only do do at night when it's "safe" and no one will "comment"

Two things you like to do, the one you "want" to do even more rewarding in the end than the other but you have "decided" you want to do one of them. That sets up an immediate "ain't gonna do it" just because it's been chosen. But, it is something I enjoy. However, since it's now "regulated" I go do the other unregulated, temporarily "bad" activity. It's silly.