first do not feel bad about a low response ... many here can not make it thru such a long post ... I have always posted to mostly see it in print ... it makes it seem real ... it puts me outside myself ... it allows me to see my issues from a fresh perspective ... I have no real advice for you ... but I hope posting has helped to just get it out ... the people here are the best ... I pray you can find the support you seek ... with Love ... Tigger .