I've finally come around to quitting my HS coaching jobs......except for my wife, you're the first to know! Haha! I coach HS basketball and baseball and see no further benefit to me to continue. I've won over 150 games in each sport over the last 14 years and the end is upon me. As a person, I've always felt loyalty to some people and I am coming around to believing that it is the singular thing that holds me back. What about *me*? Why do it? Times roll on and things change - taking a fresh perspective and rebuilding your future is important. I honestly believe people (especially BP) are held back when we simply plod through life. Stuff piles up and it's hard to function. We become cranial pack rats. We defer to what we know because it's comfortable. What are those things giving to us now? Yesterday was great......what about now? What do we get in return? Does it make us better people? Often, we simply say things like "I need the money" or "what else would I do with my time" or "if I change, it causes too many problems". Some of the things we do are bloodsucking our time, energy, intelligence, and effort.

OK here was the epiphany. Basketball "folks" will understand but see if you can follow along. I was coaching a game on Friday and we were up 6 with 50 seconds to play. We're in the double bonus (which means if we're fouled, we shoot 2). I tell my team the only way we lose is if we hand the game to them on a platter. Keep in mind these are HS boys - 16, 17, 18. As you reflect on this fact, the first thing that should enter your mind is "duh". OK, in the t/o, I tell them to move, move the ball, run some clock, get fouled. Hit one of two and that's it, we're up 7 with about 35 to play. So what happens? Five seconds into the possession, someone launches a 16 foot airball, the other team comes down and converts a three point play. Now we're up 3 with 30 to go. I am ready to boil over but let's see how we handle this possession. Still up 3, we inbound the ball and get fouled with 19 seconds left......going to the line. Hit one of two and it's still over. Yeah, we miss both f/t and the other coach calls a timeout. I snapped as I am known to do. I refused to talk to them and told them to go out and figure it out on their own since they don't want to take my advice. We ended up winning but the other team did get off a shot to tie.

I sat there after the game and said "why am I here"? This does not benefit *me*, it benefits them (if at all because they don't listen anyway). They're a singular group of many people in my world that suck the life out of me.....we all know people like that. Keep in mind, we're 8-4 on our way to a winning season so I'm doing something right. But I've won plenty in my time and I get nothing out of this. It's an exercise in tedium and there's a good part of me that feels used. And that's *one* thing in my life I don't tolerate. My BP kicks in, my blood pressure boils over, I don't sleep well, and I spend wayyyyyy too much time trying to figure things out. It was a strange moment - I'd always kicked around the notion of simplifying my life and pursuing things that *I* want to do. But I'd get complacent and lazy about the thoughts because I didn't want to shake it up. Change is hard in many ways.

So I'm moving onto the next. What will I do? I still have a full time job but as Justice Thurgood Marshall once said when he was asked what he would do in his retirement, he famously quipped "sit on my butt and do nothing". I'll spend more time clearing my mind and coming back down to earth. Maybe I'll spend an hour or so just staring at the birds in the backyard. I am looking forward to it. Having clarity frees the mind of crushing clutter. I liken it to being able to play "connect the dots". There's a dot which is located way on the left side of my mind that can't find the right-side connection because there's too much stuff in the middle.