The process of growth goes on forever; it's the pain of the trauma that eventually dissipates.

Healing begins in therapy, but you have to do your homework too.

Living in the present moment is very important for me. Reading a lot of Eckhart Tolle, daily meditation, zen study. Learning to stop living the past, correcting my mindset whenever my brain goes to the past -- or to the future, has taken my anxiety level way down, gave me room to breathe. I do not believe my identity is rooted in the past and that gives me some spaciousness between the trauma and my self in the present moment.

I went no contact with my abuser in 2015 because I knew I HAD to. But I didn't know that it would lead me down a path where I don't worry about him. I don't hear him in my head. I don't have traumatic dreams anymore. In fact, when I do dream about him, he's just as normal as can be -- not really anything like he was during our relationship. I don't look back on our relationship with regret. I see it as a flashpoint for tremendous growth in my life. I never thought I'd say this but I actually learned to love myself after all this, for the first time in my life, I'm in my 30s. I finally actually know what it is to love myself.

I never thought I would, but I have forgiven him. Of course he doesn't know that. Because forgiveness is for me -- not for him.

Be patient with yourself. Truly love yourself.