Well... this all sounds pretty familiar to me too. Unfortunately. I don't know if there is a way to change it. From my perspective, I think it may be more a matter of accepting that this is the way it is & figuring out ways to work with & around it as much as possible. For many years I just forced myself to do what I needed to do. Now I'm retired & no longer working. Plus I have no extended family. So I just keep to myself.