Well it’s dark and quiet and lonely and feels close to something really bad. I’m tired of hearing my own thoughts and my own repetition and my own desperation. I even dream in nightmares because of the antidepressants I take. I never had real love just stuff I made up in my head that faded with the dawn. Now I’m old and tired and physically damaged and mentally done. I wish I could help you but in the entire catalogue of my corpse strewn memory there ain’t one place I want to go back to. But where’s Jesus of Buddha or anybody with a glow. At my feet there is no floor - straight to hell I fall.... thing is I don’t believe in Satan, just relentless hardened existence. Help!!!!!