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I have never felt joy or happiness what IS joy and happiness is me feeling a moment of peace. That is how I have explained it to therapists. I just want peace. I do not need happiness. Just to feel peace.
So I deal with intense emotions with stuffing my face with food (emotions) then purging the food (emotions) and then I feel peaceful afterwards. That never last long.
Those silly things like holding an ice cube, try to juggle, take a bath do not work. I found adult coloring books helpful but then my perfectionism does get in the way some.
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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