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Originally Posted by MoxieDoxie
I have never felt joy or happiness what IS joy and happiness is me feeling a moment of peace. That is how I have explained it to therapists. I just want peace. I do not need happiness. Just to feel peace.
So I deal with intense emotions with stuffing my face with food (emotions) then purging the food (emotions) and then I feel peaceful afterwards. That never last long.
Those silly things like holding an ice cube, try to juggle, take a bath do not work. I found adult coloring books helpful but then my perfectionism does get in the way some.
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I agree, peace = happiness. Joy is a slight experience of mania and is therefore dangerous and fleeting. Peace can be lasting but it requires internal and external security, in my case, which is difficult to achieve as it requires complete control or complete trust - neither of which is sustainable, so, it becomes an exhausting balancing game. Which is why you end up just wanting to kill everyone around you because then you will finally have peace but if you do that you'll be alone.
I comfort-eat as well, but it is a temporary and ineffective relief for me as it adds stress in terms of physical and mental health, and self-image.
When I am angry (about a 5 to 7, so, not rage yet) I find that chanting, singing or screaming works. But that was at the hospital, I live in an apartment building so that may not be an option anymore for treatment. Plus, it stops working when anger becomes rage, and it doesn't work for the other emotions like sadness or fear at any level.