Quote:
Originally Posted by RubyRae
A few years ago a close friend tried to end her life by overdosing on her medication.She survived.I was there for her during this time and I was kind,comforting and a listening ear in the weeks following her release from the hospital.
Someone else,a few months ago, accidentally overdosed on their medication because they were abusing them.They survived also.But I am finding it hard to be there for them.I feel anger instead of compassion.I am angry because they became addicted to the medication and took so many that they ended up in the hospital.
I don't really want to be judged on how I feel.I don't want to feel this way, but I do.I'm looking for thoughts and opinions on this so that I can be there for this person.
Both were overdoses.Both ended up in the hospital.So I'm not really sure why I feel so different about them and would appreciate your insight.
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I cant explain how and why you feel differently in these situations. what I can tell you is why I have felt differently in these kinds of situations...
1. I was not in the same mind set when each situation happened.
2. I was not the same ages when both kinds of overdoses happened.
3. I hand matured mentally to where I could see one situation more logically rather than mentally
All three of these are a basic how the brain works and develops. in short the brain is a physical organ that evolves, changes its functions from day to day month to month and year to year... example I dont feel the same identical way today as I did yesterday, what I went through yesterday changed how my brains neurons, receptors, production of chemicals and how it tells me what to react to what not to react to.... well you get the point. the brain is an amazing organ that stores information and makes changes in the body accordingly. I think of it like a computer. with every program change the computer does different things and becomes more versatile.
I also sometimes feel differently about the two different versions of suicide because of the friendship. no two friendships are the same. example I dont do the same things with one friend as I do with the other. I dont tell this friend about this or that but do tell another friend about this or that.. with each of my friendships there are different levels of caring, trust and what have you. this causes me to think one way when one friend od'ed on their meds accidentally and another way when another friend od'ed on their meds on purpose.
I have also felt differently simply because the situations may have reminded me of me at some point in my own life when I have od'ed on purpose or accidentally, or even just thought of it, but not carried it out.
I have also felt differently simply because of how society in general views these situations. on purpose means the person was trying to commit suicide and ....in general... in many religions, cultures and so on suicide is frowned on, unexceptable and bad thing to do, theres even stigmatizing statements around my city like accidents happen but purposes can be prevented so why didnt the person reach out and many other statements and questions...
my point is there are many reasons why I have felt differently when someone I know has accidentally od'ed and when someone has purposely od'ed.
my suggestion is if this continues to bother you contact your treatment provider, they can help you to understand why you feel differently about those you know that have od'ed.