So I thought ***** over and I came to realize why I had a sh*tty attitude when I was confronted over the cell phone use. Ever since my supervisor at that fast food job started treating me like *****, I felt the need to constantly protect myself from everyone else who could potentially hurt me. I felt like everything was chaotic and just about anyone could randomly hurt me for no reason, or a sh*tty one. Consequently, I perceive EVERYTHING as a personal attack, even well meaning constructive criticism. And EVERYTHING pisses me off, including stuff that never woulda affected me before.

My defense was sarcasm and being condescending towards people. I'm still nice most of the time, but being a ****** became second nature that always shows unexpectedly, even when I wanna suppress it. Like the cell phone incident at my retail job, I wanted to have a good attitude, but I couldn't. It induced actual flashback of when my fast food supervisor hurt me.

At that retail job, my supervisor wasn't initially gonna let me go. She was initially only gonna ask me about the cell phone use. However, after I had a bad attitude and never apologized, it sealed my fate. Now that I think about it, I honestly don't know when protecting myself did me any good. I seemed to have also driven people away protecting myself. But how do I know nobody gonna hurt me again?