Well, I can relate to missing the hospital on occasion, but I don't really wonder or care what is going on there or what they are eating or watching. What I sometimes miss is just not being so isolated during the daytime, and not having as many responsibilities as I have now, even though I have relatively few compared to other people.

Even though my moods are not that labile anymore compared to the past, I still struggle with doing even 50-60% of what a 1950s housewife probably did. And yet, I'm pushing myself to add auditing one college class to my upcoming months, AND a once per week evening adult school class with my husband. It's intimidating! I'm scared, but I have to start trying to challenge myself more. Thoughts of the hospital, to me, are almost like "Calgon take me away" thoughts in that I wouldn't have to cook, go to the store, fill my pill boxes (and my husbands), do more than just a little laundry and make my bed. I could go to therapy and classes like "dance therapy", and talk with others. I would also feel almost a relief to be more pressured to take a shower. The only sad part is that I wouldn't have as much time with my husband. But sometimes even a little break from him is welcome. He went to Europe on business last December for 9 days. Originally I thought it would be horrible, but it turned out to be sort of a vacation.

Going to the hospital or IOP is very expensive, even with my insurance (I'm in the US). Though the feeling of safety and lack of responsibility, and intensive care is nice sometimes, it hurts us financially. It's not like if we lived in my husband's home country of Czech Republic where you pay virtually nothing for a hospitalization.