Ok things have been getting on top of me and I have went into grin and bare it mode

1. My Mum had a stroke 21st Nov I witnessed the whole thing. It was a serious stroke which has left her paralyzed down her right side and unable to talk. She is in a rehab centre after a month in hospital. I'm heartbroken and cry most nights as I'm scared for my Mum who is fiercely independent at 61 years old

2. I stopped my meds 2 months ago. I feel no different. My mood is good I'm not manicy or depressed. I've been told it's probably cause I'm running about to the hospital etc that I'm on energy

3. My Dad slipped on ice on 17th Dec and broke his wrist. Needed an op to insert a metal plate into it. Had op on 27th Dec and is mending well

4. My family is at war over stupid things cause we are all stressed out

5. I find out last week my psychiatric nurse who I see monthly is retiring and I might have to be discharged which means I lose both my nurse and worker as worker works under the supervision of nurse. This will happen in March and in the UK your allocated these professionals. Which leaves me with a GP and Psychiatrist who I see whenever not often and every 6 months

6. Tonight I have had a 1 hour crying proper crying spell where I was upset about my Mum, and everything above. Plus to top it off I hurt myself quite a bit cause I wanted it all to stop. Now in 10 hours I see psychiatry for my 6 month review. He only ever spends 10 mins if that with me. I'm not sleeping haven't been for over a week.

Question do I take tonight as a blip or do I tell him what happened? I'm back on my meds have been for over a week. Also I think I need a sedative for at night but I don't like asking for things it's part of my anxieties. Sleep would be good but I've had sleeping tablets before and they don't like giving them out too quickly apparently

Any help would be great thanks