Hello Going: I don't know what to tell you about this. What your wife said was certainly unfortunate. But she may have a point too if you're checking her phone & questioning her about her past boyfriend.

On the other hand, since the two of you have only been married for a year, I can also see where things probably feel less secure than they perhaps will as the years go by, assuming the two of you make it long enough for that to happen. (That's not to say older couples can't have similar problems too, though.) It may just be that there is blame to go around. And, that being the case, some couples counseling may be the best way for the two of you to clear the air, as the saying goes.

I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

Here are links to some articles from PsychCentral's archives on the subject of successful marital relationships. Perhaps some of the information in them will be of help:

https://psychcentral.com/lib/5-secre...p-or-marriage/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/3-keys...-relationship/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/trust-a...relationships/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/creatin...-relationship/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/dealing-with-betrayal/

I don't know, of course, if you're here simply seeking advice with regard to this particular concern or if you plan to hang in here with us. However, should you be planning to continue on (we hope you do)... may I suggest you introduce yourself over on PC's New Member Introductions forum? Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/new-...introductions/

There's a lot of support that can be available here on PC. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are the chat rooms where you'll be able to interact with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) So please keep posting!