Today I weighed myself for the first time in four years (the fear was REAL haha), and discovered I had gained like 15 pounds during my 4 yrs of college. Tbh, it was probably all in one year, when I was really depressed, because I still fit in my jeans from 2 years ago. But I am trying to lose weight and diet.

One thing I noticed is that exercising makes me eat less and healthier. I really did not eat much today. For dinner, I had a bowl of cereal with blueberries and a banana in it and had an insubstantial lunch, and I do not feel hungry because I went to the gym. I will probably eat another banana if I get hungry again. I have exercised 4 times in the last two weeks, which is a good improvement from basically not exercising for 4 years straight.

I'm not going to share my diet because I have never counted calories and am worried it will turn into something bad if I start. But I am trying to go cold turkey on cheese, creamy food, oily food, red meat, deep fried foods, and binge eating. Which is sad because those are my favorite things to eat haha. And sometimes I like to eat an entire pizza. For reasons I'm not going into here, it's really hard to eat a balanced meal both in contents and size. The only time I was really able to lose weight was when I was maybe 14-15 when I was really skinny. Back then I really cared about being attractive.... I'm 22 now, it has been going up steadily.

I used to be really fit because I danced, ran, biked, and played a ton of tennis. I actually do like working out, but it is difficult because I'm kind of depressed. I'm really excited because I have been going to the gym and working on a lot of muscle groups I never really had. My quads are still pretty toned because I ran a lot as a teenager. But my arms and tummy need work.

Today I ran for half an hour, arms for 10, sit ups for 10. Hopefully that is good enough. I try to do more sit ups/arms each session. I don't know too much about how to exercise beyond researching exercises. I do most well in ballet classes when you can't stop even if tired. Solo exercising is kind of hard for me. I keep going when tired but stop after a while. I don't really track calories burned. Maybe I'll join a ballet class. If you've read this far and are reading this, I would love to hear any suggestions you have.

I will be biking a lot more these days too. And walking. Lack of a car. I am excited. I love walking. It is the best way to explore a city. Hopefully I get a job which requires constant movement. I think that's the way. 30 mins of running isn't going to cut it.

I showered on Sat. Have been brushing/flossing teeth everyday this week(!), but missed yesterday. So I'm going to shower and do teeth now.

Anyway, I hope I keep posting here.