Hi Katie4,

There's help! B r e a t h e.

I myself faced this same strain while in Ph.D land. Have my degree by the way, so I discovered some things that worked for me. Your success may vary (variant of YMMV).

The first thing to do is separate the work from the Inner Critic. The Inner Critic thinks it's Very Important. It's a good energy when brought in at the right time. Like swinging a hammer, it's good when nailing wood but not so good when installing windows.

Have you much experience with internal dialogues or Gestalt Therapy or Dreamwork? This suggestion is based on those tools, so if not, search for video demonstrations. Watch several to make sure the first isn't some kook.

Back to grad school. I said to my Inner Critic.

Me: Whoa, you're strong.

IC: Yup.

Me: Why are you here at the beginning?

IC: To help of course.

Me: Oh, good. But there's nothing here, my screen is blank.

IC: Well, I don't want them to judge you.

Me: You know there are several types of judging, don't you?

IC: There are? No, people can only think harshly, expose you as a pretender and imposter, and kick you to the curb.

Me: Well, they might. Or they might not if my spelling and grammar are correct. True? That'll buy a chance to improve to their liking rather than facing exile. This is going to take cycles as we both develop and share with each other what "great" looks like.

IC: Yeah, well, true enough.

Me: They don't really know either. We have our guesses, but nothing is real. How about this, you let me be free to fill the screen. You job can be to critique distractions or interruptions and tell them to stay quiet, I'm working.

Then when I'm tell you my Top Secret Private Draft needs improving (your specialty) you step in and apply all the rules for spelling, punctuation, grammar, etc. down to the smallest detail. Then I'll keep the distractions out. Deal?

IC: Well, but is it really great?

Me: Guess what? That's not for us to decide! The standard is not is it great but is it ready!! When you and I agree it's ready, we release to my readers and find out together. If they don't think it's the Next Big Thing, at least we won't be dinged from spelling & grammar. Whatever they think, we'll cope. But you have to help me get it to them early or on time. Early is judged better. Today would be best! If we don't get anything in, what will they think of us then?

IC: Early is better? Today is best!? What are we doing here gabbing! Get to Work!

Me: Can I at least get some tea?

IC: Not right now. [Pssst Cheerleader, I need help]

Cheerleader: It can wait 10 minutes, here, sketch something, and think about it as your tea steeps ...

IC & Cheerleader: C'mon, time's fleeing. Go! Go! Go!

Me: Geez ... [I got to work]

Revu2