Simply liking to hear nice things about oneself or saying nice things about another person is not pathological. We have evolved to live in social groups and social niceties make that easier. It builds relationships.

Also when you are learning a new skill (as some of us are in therapy) it helps to hear when we do something right as well as when we do something wrong. I supervise a number of people at my job. I've been doing it for years. I find that people learn more quickly when I tell them when they do something right as well as when they make a mistake. Am I doing it for manipulative purposes? Not really. I don't necessarily need them to love me. I just need them to do the job.

But when the flattery is insecure...or inappropriate as in "you did a good job on that" when you really didn't, I don't think it works as well. It makes people mad because they feel like you are trying to manipulate them.