Angelshelpme,
What an ordeal ... 40 years is a long, long time to have spent with someone, so this must be challenging (to say the least). I can't imagine what you feel, but at least you have YOUR own time left for you. With the abuser, they 'halve' your time (actually MORE ), since they suck so much from you emotionally! I hope that you can find what you need to heal from this.

i know emotional abuse and still struggle with fear (big time!!) & assertiveness. The control issues had me in a fog, not always understanding where i had boundaries re my own rights or feelings. Often scared. Like gablesgirl, i am alone, & it is difficult to make a living. i have no substantial work experience or skills so its a bit of a struggle.

i also wish that there were others nearby. Like so much, It isn't easy to understand unless 'you walk in someone else's shoes'

Rubyrae thanks for empathizing even though your experience is different. It is comforting.

I love PC for that