I can't say what causes it, or when the breakthrough happens, but moods shift like the wind in my bipolar life. I know its been going on for a few weeks now, so maybe a medication evaluation with your pdoc? I usually wouldn't give advice like this, because I hate the constant changing and back and forth with medication, BUT, changing medication worked miracles for me last summer.

It wasn't easy, and honestly it still isn't, I stuggle with a host of new problems and sleep issues, but I am definitely not as low as I used to be, or even dipped in that direction in quite some time.

I don't know if it will help, but just ask, you never know what will happen. I always feel in situations like you're in that it can't get any worse, so might as well try something different.

Brighter days are in your future, even though you may not see it yet. And as far as being alone, well, as others have said, you're never alone when you have us here at PC. Hugs and well wishes!