Thanks all - this has been helpful.
Sol
now i'm gonna have to watch that movie tonight =)

"I may be new to this whole rescue-thing, but this seems like a step... backward."

Ah ok focus. so i had t tonight... i'm sorry but the last hour of work before a t appointment that you're totally dreading, but wanting to go to - *sucks*!!
she did manage to say "you need a consistent person in your life whose going to see you through thick and thin"... though far from "Of course I'll always be here, i'll never ever leave you no matter what and you can call when ever you need to", is still certainly acceptable. it was really hard to talk about attachment and i totally couldn't tell her that i thought of her during the week when i was in crisis *wishing* desperately that she would call... because ...well.. that would just be too.. desperate *licks wounded cat pride*.
she wants me to be able to be less reserved.... oy. give me another 5 years, and we'll see.
one thing i never understand is around SI and why even in therapy it seems *hush hush*. they may ask why it was done, with what, and how many, but then that's it... gone... like "if we ignore it, maybe the client will stop doing it". i always find this very odd - not that i have a better solution.

gosh - i try to contain everything from her - emotions, thoughts, i try to watch her and appear attentive... sometimes she makes me laugh - which i am learning is a ploy all my past ts have used.... i just feel like i have to contain contain contain - and yet that is what she wants me to NOT do. This is going to take some time, methinks.
kiya