Your T has acted cruelly, by not understanding deeply your worldview and considering it from day one.

Therapy relationship is completely unnatural and oddly unique. Mine calls it "artificial ", an"as if " relationship for rehearsing / deconstructing issue to bring back wisdom for real relationships. We act "as if" we are confidantes, we are lovers, we are friends, we are parent/ child, but in realty we are none of those things

We are patients paying doctors for treating an illness.

In their minds, steeped in their culture ( from another planet !!!!), it is no more reasonable to be friends with your T than your dentist or cardiologist.

They have friends, wives, kids, parents, family old college roommates- whatever.

They see us wanting to be friends as wanting to be "special", and refusing to gratify wishes to be special is a bedrock concept. ( which I resent). They have ethics saying they can't be friends with us.

I remember as a young teacher, being invited to graduation parties thrown by some of my favorite families. The school policy was for faculty not to attend, bc there could be underaged drinking. I obeyed that rule, even though I wanted to be part of the festivities and truly loved many of the families. Some of the kids stayed in touch and I went to their weddings etc. However, other teachers broke the rules and went to these parties and got in different kinds of trouble.

I see T's who pull back boundaries like that. They long to go to the party and really care, but they remember the cost and the rules.

The problem is how is is a tussle of conscience for them, but it utterly breaks there heart of the client, who has so so soooooooooo much more skin in the game.

Therapy casts a spell in order to work; these issues break the spell and show the disparity between how much the client invests v the therapist.

Thew therapist invests in his career, his skills, private practice as a business if that applies, and overall( hopefully ) cares about people. The client focuses n this one being, showing their deepest selves. Yeah, not fair!

I think T's obsess in the Wizard of Oz bc they know they hurt us badly when we see them behind the curtain. We see, but then we get amnesia, and fall into the trance again.