Quote:
Originally Posted by palerefraction
I am young but I think I am recognizing the trend. It took maybe having someone else "lined up" to get me to even consider leaving my abusive boyfriend. It was the same before him as well. They are long term relationships and I think the time to reflect and "mourn" I guess would have been appropriate.
I am stunting myself and my growth personally and as a partner by not looking at my actions and who I want to be with and what I want in a relationship. I am trying to avoid the "unhappily" and married/together/dating in the same sentence.  |
Excellent point.
I, too, sometimes didn’t end it until I had another lined up.
My relationships were all different. I don’t see any pattern of behavior that caused me grief in my relationships. I really enjoyed being with those boys/men and it was not toxic. The break ups were simply because I didn’t want to commit to them or they didn’t to me. Or maybe we met someone else we liked better. I was done dating by 26.
I suffered in my marriage because my h neglected me and my sexual and sensual needs. I cried an ocean of tears! I never thought this would have ever happened!
As years went on and I ran to every therapist I could for help, yet none helped because it takes two to change and neither he nor I could or would, psychiatric diagnoses began to get discussed. It was actually me who learned about BPD because my niece got diagnosed. And the dr agreed I have traits.
Now if I knew that at 26, I might have made a very different path. I might have convinced myself I’d make a terrible wife and mother and not have ever married.
But I’ve been a good wife, considering I f’n resent him due to the misery he causes me. But I’ve been a great mom and I LOVE our kids.