My T once said that he sees himself like a musical accompanist, a piano player to my singing. I like that metaphor. I would not do well with a therapist that likes to take the lead. Sometimes he asks me how I've been when I sit down, but usually I say "I've been thinking about X and go on to frame what that is.

Sometimes he asks a direct question and every once in awhile he mentions something from another session. Earlier this month I was going through the 10 questions I ask myself about how the past year has gone, and he was reminding me of things I had said about wanting to figure out how to leave the official job I've been doing and just strike out on my own full time. And other things. I was really surprised that he could recall my goals better than I could.

He doesn't seem to have a desire to control the session or anything else about my therapy. He seems to be willing to go wherever I do, and that works for me. During the short months that my spouse was suffering with advanced stage cancer, there was a time or two when I thought he asked too many questions about how my spouse was doing. Since I fielded these kinds of questions all day long-- people looking for information, especially since my spouse didn't like to tell anyone anything-- I told him therapy was the one place where I felt I could focus on me and not my spouse's latest medical crisis. He stopped that once I was able to articulate that i would like him to.