You're doing the topical bipolar path. Feel better, even though not manic, do more because involvement keeps you busy. Crash out and do bare minimum or nothing at all. Don't do more than you can handle because you're asking for that crash. That happens with and without any MI. If it's going to be too much, don't do it.
We all wish we'd been diagnosed earlier. I go through that daily. We weren't though. Nobody --them, they, or us-- figured it out in the time we wish anybody had. It isn't going to change now though. I find when I ruminate in the past like that it stops my now and stunts my future. That's why I try not to do it, but I'm human and we do that sometimes