I had opportunity to tell someone how I felt but I didn’t take it. I thought I had another opportunity but she no longer works there so now she’ll never know. I was just a week away from meeting her again.

If anything I wanted to at least be her friend. I figured because if the age difference there would probably never be a chance to be anything more. I was going to get to know her and “feel her out” if she was open minded to the LBGTQ community I was going to tell her I was questioning my sexuality. And if she was willing exploring hers I was going to ask her if I could be the the girl she explored it. I wanted her to be my first kiss my first experience my first everything

When I cry I feel physical pain deep from within. But at the same time I feel relief becomes I got some answers because I understand things now.