I don't know how to do it.

There are the persons in my life that dominate my life. One I last saw 10 years ago. I still think about her once in a while. But the attraction is gone. She was such a big part of my life, she is part of me, even though she never really realized that. I sent her one message each year, but never get a response. We parted as friends, I thought, though she knew I was deeply in love with her when all she wanted to do is not hurt me.

The second person, I met her 3 years ago. About 1.5 years ago, I thought she was in my life for the very last time. Then maybe a few times I could say 'Hi' to her as I by chance met her somewhere, but then we would be living in other places. I imagined myself still thinking about her, at least once a week. Still dreaming about her, once every month. For years, maybe a decade.

I am seeing her now again, daily. But that won't last. And while she is super nice, she is super nice to everyone and she seems to avoid me when she thinks she I don't realize it. Which is a strange thing to do as we still banter and she jokingly called herself '*****y' and me 'a *****', as a jest.
In the end, she and me getting together romantically would mean all the mistakes in my life get wiped away. It is not just a romance opportunity. It is about my entire life. My entire being. What it means to be me to myself. It is like these two people have a piece of me inside which I desperately need to be complete, not broken almost.

When I look at my problems in relationships, my misfortune on falling very strongly for very few people, that always are partial polar opposites while I can only imagine that to them like attracts like, I think about how much harder it must be for LBGTQ people. And I never see any signs of it being harder. But I don't know a lot.

Getting back to your story, when I ignore the LBGTQ thing, it seems nothing was ever explored. You don't know if the other person is interested or not, because you never tried to learn it.

But then LBGTQ, so she is probably straight while you are female? And an age difference?

I wish I could try. Girl one made me cry once. Girl two made me cry at least 3 times. The four times I ever cried as an adult. I wish I would cry more. I may live on for 60 more years, and I will never cry again, always remembering that most intense time in my life when there was a non-zero chance of me finding happiness. I cannot imagine me feeling more intense about a girl than I did about this girl right now.

Time will dilute feelings. The question is how long it will take. Eventually, it will dilute.