Hello nat: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

Having read your post I have to say, in the kindest way possible, that I think you may be over-reacting to what occurred. From my perspective at least one drunken kiss, after the two of you had fought & you had called it quits, is really not grounds for the kind of reaction you wrote you're having. Assuming, for a moment, that you're at least considering the possibility the two of you will try to make a life together, there are going to be many more difficult challenges ahead. Trust me on that one. (I've been married for 38 years!) Maintaining a long-term romantic relationship requires an ocean liner of compassion & forgiveness!

Yes, from what you wrote, it sounds as though your bf is extremely busy... perhaps too busy to give you, & your relationship, the kind of attention it deserves. Perhaps the best way to handle this is simply to tell him, straight out, how you're feeling about it & see if the two of you can perhaps talk it though. The reality may well be, though, that given all of the things he has on his plate, there may just not be much he can do about it. And if that just can't work for you, (& that's okay if it can't) perhaps that is a sign that this relationship simply can't be permanent & the two of you need to go your separate ways.

Having written all of that, though, here are links to some articles from PsychCentral's archives on the subject of healing after infidelity. These articles deal with more serious cases of infidelity than you describe in your post. However perhaps what they say can be of some help:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/dealing-with-betrayal/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/affair-...uilding-trust/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/relat...by-infidelity/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/infid...onship-cancer/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/can-yo...vive-cheating/

I don't know, of course, if you're here simply seeking advice with regard to this particular concern or if you plan to hang in here with us. However, should you be planning to continue on (we hope you do)... may I suggest you introduce yourself over on PC's New Member Introductions forum? Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/new-...introductions/

There's a lot of support that can be available here on PC. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are the chat rooms where you'll be able to interact with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) So please keep posting!