I feel your pain. Definitely! I've been there. Still dealing with it. I'm afraid I always will. It has been three years. My T was so different then, she "loved" me, and told me so. She sat by me, letting me cry on her shoulder, we would text. She gave me nice, long hugs. Then, like the flip of a switch, she ended it. I'm still with this T. Due to my attachment, I'm sure. I don't feel like she cares about me like she did three years ago. I was actually a person three years ago. I felt special. Now I feel like a client. This broke my heart. Shattered my world.

Then I found a T to hopefully help me deal with the abandonment and rejection I felt from T1. T2 ended up being amazing. Loving and caring, we did good work together. Then we had a disagreement about my treatment plan, and eventually, she kicked me out. Without even letting me have a termination session. So now, I'm hurt by T2 as much as I was T1. I seriously can barely handle it. But stupid me, I still go. Now spend a lot of time with T1 crying about T2. I'm beyond hurt. Both Ts made me feel special.

One thing I've learned is that my life kind of goes by how therapy goes. If I feel safe and comfortable in therapy, I feel the same outside in the real world. If the therapeutic relationship sucks and I feel all alone, I'm alone in my life, too. So, my life feels pretty empty.

Anyway, I know how you feel! I'm sorry!