My ex-T did apologize a couple times--once said she had clearly taken the wrong approach with me, and another time she said she had gotten too close and probably pulled back too much. I appreciated those. (There were other times she was defensive though.) And currently T basically apologized for not making me feel cared for during our session yesterday in response to my e-mail: "Of course I care about you and how you do/feel, and I'm sorry if somehow my actions failed to convey that to you today."

My marriage counselor (for whom I have/had strong attachment/transference) has always tended to be very defensive when I've criticized him or said he's hurt me. Sometimes I've eventually gotten an apology or admission of making a mistake out of him, but it's taken a few sessions or, most recently, a couple sessions and a lengthy phone call before he seemed to understand and apologize/take some responsibility.

I think sometimes their egos get in the way. I feel it's very important for T's to be able to examine themselves and consider how what they're feeling and doing may be affecting the client. Like, think of their own countertransference, etc.

I hope your T will apologize and admit her mistakes. There's hope...

Edited to add: I just saw that your communication post-session was via text message--that (and e-mail) are ripe for misunderstanding on both ends. In person gives you a much better shot (because then you can also see body language, hear tone of voice, etc.).