I'm sorry you are in this most difficult situation & that the decision is so hard for you.  Here are links to some articles from PsychCentral's archives that may be of interest & hopefully will provide you with some of the inspiration you seek:
https://psychcentral.com/blog/true-s...-relationship/
https://psychcentral.com/blog/the-on...-relationship/
https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-a-...-relationship/
https://psychcentral.com/blog/5-ways...-relationship/
https://psychcentral.com/blog/in-an-...steps-to-take/
I wish you well...  
__________________
"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
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