What do you experience during a psychotic episode?

I lived so long in a deep BP/MDD state that I am reluctant to actually attempt to ‘cure’ this persistent mania/psychosis. I like it. I feel that I am in control.

When I’m in touch-mode, I become calm and non-psychotic. I live, I am alive, in two different worlds/realities.

Who changed your diagnosis? My understanding of the DSM-IV/DSM-V flip-flop on schizoaffective/BP w/psychosis is that too many folks were being diagnosed w/schizoaffective disorder that were actually BPI w/psychosis.

I read, I read, I read compelling arguments from both sides. These arguments confuse me, of course. I’m not certain of how I’m able to exist in this manic/psychotic world for so damned long! I’m not certain of how I can be manic/psychotic aware? I hear the radio-conversations-and-music just before I sleep, I’m aware that my hallucinations are just that, and I know that I have a greater control over my delusions than not.

This world is my lonely-world. Touch-mode is my life/lively/social-world. I prefer touch-mode but I realize that it is always going to be temporary. Lonely-world is the more commonplace.

Is there a thread - anywhere? - describing the less common thoughts within psychosis? I don’t often dance with paranoia, for example, but I have continuous certainty of my artificial body.

I’m thankful that so many people responded. I think that I need to go deeper into the diagnoses controversy!