Rincad,
I have a lot of paranoia about medications (plus don't like some of their side effects) but when my paranoia gets out of control, they are the only thing that gets my paranoia, extreme anxiety, inability to sleep back under reasonable control. You may want to consider discussing this with your psychiatrist. Medications can give you some relief from what you are experiencing and, more importantly, ease your suicidal ideation. You could try emphasizing the voices, anxiety, inability to sleep verses the suicidal thoughts in order to obtain medication without being put into IP. I also hate IP. I went once and it was like being in jail. Please tell your psych and get something to ease your suffering. Hugs.