I never tried to stop mine--only thought it was weird and kept it to myself.

"...But decades I thought that because I have these thoughts and feelings that I must legitimately want to die. But I don’t. It’s just the depression....I don’t have to let them define me. They are not me. They are just thoughts. .."

I really like this way of thinking about our suicidal thoughts. I know for many people, these thoughts really do seem to equal wanting to die but, for me, mine are mostly, what you have described here. Thanks for your insight.