Thank you all for your support so far! It helps to hear the viewpoints from others, as varied as they may be. I feel supported here, where I know I'm unlikely to be attacked as a 'pervert', and where, so far at least, it seems the community is respectful towards the views of others.

Esthersvirtue - your comment regarding not having the choice is who I shared my first sexual experience with struck home - I don't believe I've ever explored that specific reason for feeling sad.

DePressMe - I hope you were able to find some peace and relief from your pain last night and today - it was very sweet for you to chime in support in the middle of bad times for you. I also LOVE your sobriety count-up meter! I'm proud of your for finding the strength and courage to face that disease and get it under control so strongly - you have every right to advertise it! :-)

Rhapsody - thank you for your thoughts. I think I do have more work worth doing on the issue, although my current major depressive episode focuses on current marital and job issues. Before anyone says it, I know that in our disordered minds, all issues have an effect on all others, like a spiders web.

And Kiya - Hugs are ALWAYS welcome! I can sense the ocassional unsafe hug miles away but the vast majority of safe hugs are like gentle rain on parched earth. Thank you.