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Originally Posted by confused_77
I think the high is mutual, because I get intense pleasure from knowing there is this person who knows my most inner thoughts. Its one of those that I don't really want to learn other techniques. its like an addiction you dont want to quit! it took me forever to get to the point where I am and the idea of being able to talk about whats really going on and not do the quick, 'im fine, how are you' version of evets is my high. When you hold so much in for years and there is this person who reads all the nonsense, all the very intense accounts of whats going on in your life you dont want it to stop!
I just wish she would send the bouderies and tell me when enough is enough
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One thought would be for you to figure out what boundaries would seem reasonable and suggest them to her. Like, "I feel like I'm e-mailing you too much and need some boundaries. How about a limit of x number of e-mails per week?" (or certain number of paragraphs, etc.) And then ask her to help you stick to that?
The problem I've encountered with e-mail is therapists who keep saying it's fine, until...suddenly it isn't (this has happened both with ex-T and marriage counselor). Like suddenly, they told me I needed to reduce outside contact. And this was when I had checked in with them numerous times to see if it was OK. I'm not saying this will happen to you--but I'm sure it would be much better if you were to figure out boundaries for yourself before your T might ask for a reduction--because it hurts like hell for them to ask you to reduce contact...
And I completely get the appeal of e-mailing. They would suggest I just journal instead, but there's something about actually wanting to hand the thoughts off to someone else, even if they don't respond. Current T charges for longer e-mails (and sends a detailed response), which annoyed me at first, but it really helps keep it in check, like I'll only send something if I'm really struggling/in a bad place (a couple times in 4 months). It's kept me from getting into that habit with him. But once you're in the habit with someone, it can be hard to break...