I'm new to the boards so hi! I'm a 20 year old female attending community college. Hopefully this will be my last year (this semester will complete my third year there). For some background- I had my first panic attack in sixth grade. I began to regularly have them in high school. My dad's family has a history of anxiety and depression.

OK, last night was a sort of breaking point for me. It was the first day of classes and my first one was scheduled at a high school in a neighboring town. It was a long class, 2 hours and 45 minutes. All day yesterday I felt like crap. I'm on my period, and had a migraine. I took 2 Tylenol, took a nap, woke up, and still had it. I took 2 Excedrin (big mistake- 65 mg of caffeine each), and also had a cup of tea. An hour and a half before my class, I had diarrhea and just felt really bad, probably a mix of caffeine, my period, and nervousness over the first day of class. I had to go though. I was nervous the whole way there. I tried to breathe deep and tell myself to just make it to the parking lot, that I didn't have to go in if I still felt anxious. I made it in and found my class, took my usual seat in the back (I get very anxious if I have people sitting behind me). I only lasted an hour and 15 minutes. I tried so hard to stay, I didn't want to wimp out, but finally I just got up and left. I could breathe deep for a couple minutes and start to feel mildly OK, then I would start trembling, and I had cold sweats, sweaty hands, I just felt like I was losing control and trapped and I had to get out. I felt like I would have to use the bathroom but wouldn't make it there (that's one of my continuing fears- but it's not like it's ever happened to me).

After I left I started to feel better. I felt like I really wimped out. I went home and told my mom and cried. I never really told my family before that I had panic attacks because I was embarassed. She gave me half a Xanax, and I talked to one of my aunts for a while, who suffered from, and still does occasionally, panic and depression. I might be going to see her psychiatrist in the next couple days hopefully- my parents insurance runs out at the end of the month.

I really just want some support and understanding from people who are going through the same thing I am. I've kept my panic a secret for incredibly long and keeping it all inside has definitely started to take a toll on me. From last night I just feel exhausted.