I think that sometimes bad things happen to us that we can't control. I also think that sometimes we were not taught things that we should have learned as young children, or weren't loved enough or cared for enough. Those early experiences caused us to learn behaviors or emotions that may have worked well for us then, but no longer does. None of that was our fault. However, I also believe that nobody else is going to be able to change our misery for us. We have to learn to make new choices and learn some of the skills we should have learned when we were children now as adults. And it's hard. But I guess I like the feeling that I'm responsible for myself now better than believing that I'm always going to be a victim.