More parts talk, now that I've established it's fairly safe to talk this way.

I told C today that I didn't want to overthink this (he said that I "think more than the average person" to which I said "is that your way of telling me I think too much?" lol). I don't want to get sucked into this. I don't want to dissect or worry about the things that work well. For example, I believe that there's a part that does my work - goes to my work. Do I care? No. That's working for me. And, it has benefits - it allows really great separation between work and home for me. I don't bring my work home - even when I work from home!

I told C the areas of concern I had regarding the parts - basically, where things aren't working:

1. The angry part that comes out unpredictably and is rather uncontrolled - causing my husband to live in this "I don't know who I'm going to get" anxiety. And, I don't want that to be my daughter's life either.

2. The parts making big decisions/proclamations that don't align with my actual desires. I haven't revealed this here, but one of the parts every time it comes out gets very close to proclaiming it wants a divorce...and

--- a big deal, obviously.

3. Struggles with the little parts/dealing with my daughter growing older - she's nearing the age of my first traumatic memory.

Well, then we got tangled in my neverending web of "I'm afraid you don't believe me. I'm afraid I make things up without meaning to." etc. etc. until I had said far more than I wanted to about my very private "getting taken care of" fantasies until, truly, fantasy and reality blurred, and I felt I was confessing I'd actually done the things from my thoughts...it's a really really weird, windy road. Which, ultimately seems to be a sort of analysis paralysis designed to derail everything...it's easy to focus on it and never move.

Tried to conclude by asking the little part questions: do you still feel the same way about me? Has anything changed between us?

everything is ok, he says.

Still wants to work on the parts talking to one another. He says he understood when I said "they talk to me, but not to one another; they talk to me about one another, but not to one another" ...I am the filter between inside and outside as well as between inside and inside. Apparently he wants to work on changing that?

That is very scary to me.