Quote:
Originally Posted by monalisasmile
Thanks for all of your responses- they have all given me lots of food for thought.
I am a firm believer in if we are aware of our choices and circumstances, yes, of course we can chose but if we are not aware or acting out of our unconscious then we can’t possibly be held responsible.
I think that because of my phenomenology and my environment being single is not a choice, it’s a survival technique and t really has no idea or understanding because she has a family, a husband etc, etc.....
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I agree, and think this is important.
There is something in me that is aware when I have a choice, and when I don't. It is phenomenonological, as you said. Nobody else can really know that. For instance, I have some flashbulb memories of trauma situations when I was a child, and I was aware that "I", or my nervous system, was shutting down/off some feelings. There was a "choice" then maybe, in that I think maybe I could have stopped the shutting down, but why would I have then? I didn't have any knowledge of the consequences. It seemed like a good way out of a difficult/intolerable situation at the time.
However, once the dissociation got entrenched and automatic, then I didn't have that "choice" anymore. Until, in some instances, the trauma memory was retrieved/relived and then a "choice" to have those feeling emerged again. Not in the past, of course, but in the present and going forward.