Quote:
Originally Posted by monalisasmile
How would you feel if your t suggested all of your problems were because of choices you had made.
I find intimacy impossible and t said tonight but this is a choice. It’s not a choice I am making, it’s just what I need to do!
It makes me so mad when I hear therapists suggesting that someone has a choice in their misery. Sometimes they do but a lot of the time clients do the best the can in impossible situations.
What do you think?
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I do not feel like the statement that all of one's problems are because of choices they made is a fair one. It is partially true, but, there certainly are loads of circumstances to which one cannot avoid or has no control over making a so-called harmful choice that will cause problems in their life, obviously.
I actually do believe that someone does have the choice to be miserable or not, at some point. I am not saying someone has the choice to 'flip a switch' and magically be happy, or function "normally." The choice starts by choosing to work towards making the effort to change what doesn't work for us. It can take a helluva long time, and is a helluva lot of hard work to change our thought patterns.
That statement about choices used to piss me off also. It was my reaction to the resistance of having to deal with the terrifying fear my past taught me to be comfortable in (or so I thought). So in truth, I was choosing to let my past define me and be miserable. Lord knows I still fall victim to it. I do find hope in knowing that I have the choice to do something to help myself get out of it (victimhood) while giving myself credit for knowing I am doing my best to continue to work towards change.