[QUOTE=monalisasmile;6002066]How would you feel if your t suggested all of your problems were because of choices you had made.
I find intimacy impossible and t said tonight but this is a choice. It’s not a choice I am making, it’s just what I need to do!
It makes me so mad when I hear therapists suggesting that someone has a choice in their misery. Sometimes they do but a lot of the time clients do the best the can in impossible situations

I don’t think people like living in misery but when we have been groomed by our caregivers sometimes it’s really hard to change a behavior.. sometimes it’s our unconscious that causes behaviors, not trying to say we’re not accountable because at the end of the day we’re adults and we have to be accountable. But choosing to change a behavior or action might take a lot of reflection and hard work. I’m trying to navigate my way through my own stuff. Thankfully my therapist hasn’t told me “ it’s a choice” to change something or not.. it’s just isn’t that simple.